I hate being considered smart for this exact reason. People go all “Wow, you’re so smart, you’re going to do so well in life” and it’s just no, that’s not how things work. Maybe for some people but not for me
Yeah, most of the time I don’t study for tests because all the information has been drilled into my head for the past month or so and I can never forget about it because I take the same classes every single day (perks of being semestered)
But the problem with this is that I’ll probably never develop any real studying habits that will really be useful in university
And instead of actually going to study, I’ll sit in my room freaking out about it because I even I can graduate high school with decent enough marks to get into a good university, I could potentially FAIL in university because I NEVER FUCKING DEVELOPED GOOD STUDYING HABITS
And that’s only of the long-term things, because one of the short-terms is how much I bother people by worrying about my probably not so bad marks
Like I got an 80 on my French test a few days ago and started freaking out because I could have done so much better
And my friend, who got a 72, gets really upset with me (understandably) because if my mark is bad than what does that make hers?
And all I want to say about that is that I have different standards for myself than I do for other people. I feel like high school is when simply PASSING is a giant achievement so yes, if you got a 50 on that English essay I will be so fucking happy for you BECAUSE YOU FUCKING PASSED AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS
Unless you’re aiming for honours so you can write that on your resume, I don’t feel like your employers will really give a damn about how close you were to failing because you graduated high school and got the course credit and that’s all they care about.
But there’s also the fact that I’m not smart at all. Not even in that ‘modest’ way, I don’t think I’m smart. I’m in Grade Nine, most of this is review. There’s very little that’s really new and difficult.
However people will continuously say “Oh my god you’re so smart!” and then I’ll feel the need to subconsciously reach that expectation
And it’s a really nice compliment but I feel like shit because my friends will get lower marks than me and I’ll still be disappointed about my 82%
It doesn’t fucking help that I managed to get a 99% in French on my midterms and now everyone thinks I’m some sort of fucking genius like my teacher graded maybe five or six of our very small, very simple assignments it wasn’t hard to write three pages on how I felt about humanity
BEING SMART DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU’LL SUCCEED AT LIFE. MY ACADEMIC MARKS CAN HELP ME IN MY FUTURE BUT THEY DO NOT SHOW ME IF I’M SMART. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ALGEBRA DOESN’T MEAN THAT THEY’RE SMART
AND GOD FUCKING DAMN IT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT STANDARDS FOR THEMSELVES NOT EVERYONE’S HAPPY WITH A 75 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KEEP MENTIONING HOW SMART THEY ARE FOR GETTING A 90% AVERAGE